Motivations

Things that Motivate Me At Work

1. My paycheck, without that I would never even come here.

2. Deadlines, mainly those imposed by the federal government or people getting paychecks on time, for some reason we do not set other deadlines here, something about the honor system.

3. Shmel walking into my office and telling an obscenely long story (ok that's a toss up between actual work and pretending to work)

4. Howard coming into my office (also a toss up)

5. Almost anything the big guy asks me to do as his name appears on my paycheck, see number 1.

Things that Do Not Motivate Me

1. Howard's afternoon/morning/mid morning nap.

2. When the princess watches television on her computer and it is so loud you can hear it through the entire office.

3. When the princess plays games and you can hear the noises coming from hear office or the hunching over her desk and clicking of the mouse that can only be described as facebook time.

4. Howard and the princess/big guy meetings aka Howard sits with his hands on his head and says things, what I'm not sure, but words come out.

5. Howard pounding his fist and telling me to get to work or telling me smoke should be coming out of my computer (If smoke ever does come out I will look for the nearest exit)

6. Howard always refusing to just hand me my paycheck, it is not funny to rip it out of your hand.

7. The lunches we eat, I should be 300 lbs by now.